Using problem focused coaching to overcome internal barriers
07733 001711
Restoring confidence
Helping people recover confidence after workplace conflict
How I help
Has your confidence remained damaged after being mistreated? I can help you fully recover your strength and confidence. I'll explain how I do this below.
I do this coaching for a government department, unions and law firms. I lecture across the UK, in Europe and North America about restoring confidence after facing injustice.
I get such consistently good results that two universities are studying my method. My work on letting go of resentment has been featured in Psychology Today.
Resentment prevents recovery
When we are mistreated our confidence, trust and positivity get damaged. People who naturally forgive recover quickly but those of us who hold onto resentment can remain damaged for years.
The body naturally heals itself from both physical and emotional wounds. But when faced with unfairness we sometimes stay angry in the hope of getting justice or an apology. But to stay angry we need to remain in pain. And keeping in pain means we interrupt the body's natural healing process. This makes it very hard for confidence, trust and positivity to recover despite the situation being over.
How I help
The route to restoring our confidence therefore comes from letting go of resentment. I help people let go of the past and by doing so free up the body's natural healing process. I do this through discussion and a guided exercise.
The benefits
Letting go of resentment brings many benefits. Firstly it brings inner peace as we let go of anger and bitterness and stop going over and over what happened in our mind. Secondly it brings strength as we recover our trust, confidence and positivity. And finally it brings hope as we turn our attention from the pain of the past towards our wishes for the future.
Why this is good for employers
If people feel they have faced mistreatment at work, resentment will leave them underperforming. This is due to lower levels of confidence, trust and positivity. This can also affect engagement, sickness absence and retention.
Duty of care means that employers should do their best to help people return to full performance. This also reduces risks of complaints or legal action.
Getting people quickly back to their full potential is therefore good for both employers and employees.
Research and lecturing
Letting go of resentment gets such consistently good results that Luther College and Northumbria University are planning a series of studies into the effectiveness of my method. I lecture internationally on the benefits of letting go of resentment, and welcome invitations to speak.
Letting go is transformational and restorative, as the stories below demonstrate.
“I had been bullied with a previous employer that led me to leaving my job and losing my home. I was mentally broken and kept reliving the history, thinking “she is to blame, she is to blame” and feeling vengeful. I was not coping with my emotions and it was still living in me and was affecting me every day. Stephen’s coaching was emotionally very powerful and brought me to tears and was also thought provoking and led me to seeing things differently. And the change following the coaching was immense. I can now talk about what happened without getting angry or needing revenge – all of that has gone completely. I’ve got rid of the animosity and anger: it’s completely gone. So much weight and baggage has been dropped. I can accept where I am and what has happened to my family. I might not like it but there is not that ferocity and I’m much more relaxed. I’m a happier person for it and I’m content in my skin. I’m noticeably more brave in many different areas of my life and am more helpful and proactive. I now also trust what people say to me more. Before I used to catastrophise and panic. Now I can cope and make preparations for the future. I’m so much freer emotionally and mentally. It’s a wonderful feeling not to have this constant nagging feeling floating around in the back of my head.”
About me
I have been working as a coach for 15 years and have coached over 1000 people. The most common issue I help people with is confidence. Some of these lost confidence after workplace conflict and when they let go of the past they made remarkable recoveries.
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I spent much of my life holding onto resentments and didn’t realise how much this was holding me back. Going through the difficult but rewarding process of forgiveness made me happier and lighter and more present and loving and positive and generally nicer to be around. With injustices that I’ve made peace with, I can now remember them without knee jerk negativity and keep them in balance. This makes me more present and positive in my current relationships.
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I am an EMCC senior accredited coach. My coaching approach is based on helping people overcome internal obstacles to giving their best. My previous careers were as a policy advisor and management consultant.
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My mission is to help people grow and heal so they can freely and fully give their gifts to the world.