Using problem focused coaching to overcome internal barriers
07733 001711
Restoring confidence
Helping people recover confidence after workplace conflict
How I help
If workplace conflict is resolved amicably, both parties recover and resume giving their best. But when one side feels injustice, they can hold onto resentment and this prevents them from recovering. I help people let go of the past so they can recover confidence, autonomy, trust, performance and wellbeing.
Employer's duty of care
Employers have a legal duty of care towards their employees. CIPD, ACAS and the Law Society all recommend that parties to a dispute are offered support.
By mitigating the harm caused, employers reduce liability for breach of duty of care. This includes legal claims for injury to feelings and psychiatric injury. The middle band for injury to feelings is £11,200 to £33,700.
If employees don’t recover from conflict, this can also affect engagement, productivity, sickness absence and retention - with significant costs for the employer.
Proactively helping employees recover after conflict shows that the employer values well-being and takes its duty of care seriously and is doing its best to remedy a difficult situation.
Resentment prevents recovery
The body naturally heals itself from both physical and emotional wounds. But when faced with unfairness we sometimes stay angry in the hope of getting justice or an apology. But to stay angry we need to remain in pain. And keeping in pain means we interrupt the natural healing process. This makes it hard for confidence to return after conflict that feels unjust.
Counselling isn’t enough
Employees in conflict are often offered counselling from their Employee Assistance Provider (EAP).
Counselling only helps with things people actively want to change. Because they are non-directive, counsellors don’t advise their clients to let go of their resentments. So people’s confidence, and therefore work performance, can remain damaged for years.
“A previous manager had micromanaged me and subjected me to constant criticism impacting my self-esteem and confidence. I hadn’t been able to move on from this and became stressed, self-critical, my sleep was really suffering, and I was constantly overthinking on repeat. I had used counselling through work and the NHS, but they hadn’t helped. The session with Stephen was very intense, personal, emotive, soul searching, enlightening, and relaxing and I walked away having got rid of my issue. It felt like the brick hanging around my neck had completely gone, and I had a complete 360° turnaround. My confidence and mental health both improved massively, and I was back to being myself. I’m no longer self-critical and over thinking, I have learnt things that mean I now take a completely different approach to issues and am at peace with myself.”
Recovering lost qualities
My confidence recovery programme directly tackles resentment - the chief barrier to restoring confidence. Through discussions and guided exercises, I help people let go of the past to free up the natural healing process. I also help people set boundaries, focus on what they can control, orient themselves towards life’s blessings, regain trust, reach out for support, rediscover their strengths and empower themselves.
Letting go is transformational and restorative, as the eight stories below demonstrate.
“I was being bullied at work which left me desperate and on the edge and my confidence was crushed. Stephen helped me to focus on the steps I can control and to look after myself rather than keeping everyone happy. He helped me to rebuild my confidence, so much so that I was able to go through various required processes to get myself a new job with the same employer and led to believing in myself and confident to apply for and achieve a promotion where I now manage over 400 people and everything is going well again.”
About me
I have been working as a coach for over a decade and have coached 850 people. The most common issue I help people with is confidence. Some of these lost confidence after workplace conflict and when they let go of the past they made remarkable recoveries.
I spent much of my life holding onto resentments and didn’t realise how much this was holding me back. Going through the difficult but rewarding process of forgiveness made me happier and lighter and more present and loving and positive and generally nicer to be around. With injustices that I’ve made peace with, I can now remember them without knee jerk negativity. I haven’t forgotten the bad things but I now keep them in balance and this makes me more present and positive in my current relationships.
I am an EMCC senior accredited coach. I work for two unions helping people recover from workplace conflict, as well as executive coaching for a government department. My coaching approach is based on helping people overcome internal obstacles to giving their best. My previous careers were as a policy advisor and management consultant.
My mission is to help people grow so they can freely and fully give their gifts to the world.